Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Rage

I have been known to let myself fall into anger in my time, but I see it so much in the autistic community, and I had an experience with it recently, so I feel I should write something about it.

Many autistics seem to be full of rage, they rage at Autism Speaks, they rage at Jim Carrey, they rage at FAAAS, but mostly, they just rage. I'd like to make two points about rage. The first is from an episode of How I Met Your Mother, a show of which I am a major fan. This episode (and others like it) is why.

Ted goes to confront Stella, the woman that left him at the altar:



(Second Edit: I am keeping the video up in case I can get it working again, but until then, you can download the clip.)

It's this wisdom that drew me to the show, and this wisdom that keeps me watching, day after day.

Every autistic reading this knows that we can do so much. We can change so many lives, if those with lives we could change would just let us. And yet we are dismissed and ostracized. But why should this make us angry? Whatever we must endure because of this discrimination, these people will suffer so much more. Even if we couldn't change their lives, the discrimination alone is so much worse for them than anything that they could do to us. Weep for them, they know not the lives they could have had.

The other point I'd like to make is anger as an excuse. My sister and I were visiting our mother recently, and she had been reading a book, Nickel and Dimed. She bemoaned her lot in life and her inability to get by. I did not handle the situation as well I could have (I upset her greatly), but I pointed out (with very little tact, so I am not unclear on that point) that I had worked for less than she makes normally, with higher rent, and I had managed to save quite a bit of money. An interesting point to make is that the reason she was visiting my mother is that she was storing boxes of stuff at my mother's apartment, things that she did not need and sometimes went unused for long periods.

I wrote earlier about the perfect job for autistics. We may not be able to make it by in a normal job environment, but that does not mean we cannot make money or contribute meaningfully to society.

That job I mentioned earlier ended rather abruptly. I did not catch on to one of those unwritten, unspoken rules (the kind that are illegal but exist anyway). And yet, still, I shouldn't be angry at them. I should not have been in that job in the first place. It was something for a neurotypical. I am destined for something else, and I will do what I am meant to do.

You should not be angry at them for their discrimination. Instead, realize that you should work towards something else, something you are meant to do.

Let go of your anger, and you may see where you truly belong.

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